$100 Don't read this ad, the guy is a pervert
0 Comments Published by Orange on Monday, April 23, 2007 at 3:40 AM.
I am going to LA for 4 months this summer and me and my friends are very desperate to look for a cheaper place to stay in as the accomodation offered currently is at USD 120 per week in a 4 sharing bedroom. I even heard that that place is somewhat dodgy. Anyhow let's forget about that.
I was looking on this site for sublet (part of a house one is oneself renting from the owner) appartments as it would be much cheaper compared to renting an appartment. So i came across this advertisement posted up . It wrote
"$100 Don't read this ad, the guy is a pervert
Actually, I'm that pervert. Hey, I warned you not to read the ad. Anyway, if you're kind of desperate, then this might work. WAIT STOP, give me the fuckin' keyboard, get the fuck out of my way, I'm going to finish this letter. Where were you now, oh, I see. If you're not desperate, then please respect his privacy and stop reading immediately. This dude I know (a really cool handsome devil to be sure) is looking for a person that wants to share a room with an older man. This older man is 41 and thinks he's a kid. He's not crazy, in fact he's quite brilliamt, he just never grew up. He has a decent job and goes off to the salt mines early every morning. Basically, he's too lazy to clean up his small room and his little car so he's looking for a live in houseboy, who can make his life less cluttered. He's definately not looking for sex, as in exchanging body fluids or anything like that. Ewww, yucky. but loves to get touched since he never got enough of it when he was a baby, whaaa. Unfortunately, who wants to touch a big tall hairy blued-eyed jewish grizzly bear? This is where the desperate part comes in. You get your own half of a bunk bed, the run of the really cool house in Watts next to the dash bus and the trains. All you have to do is spend a little time cleaning up and picking the critters out of his back hair and feel the love pouring into your life. This person is a master of performance personality. He can convincingly act any way that complements your act. Say, you're a take charge kind of person, then I'm sure you'll master this guy in nano-seconds, or if you want to be a wall flower; shy kind of person, then he wouldn't mind leading. He'll even let you call him daddy in public (or call you that in private). Don't let the excellent grammer and writing skills mislead you, this person gets along great with 19 year old dropouts as well as rocket scientists. Here's the deal breaker. No smokers. sorry, no dopers, double sorry. No criminals (one is enough), Oh, and you must respect every religion as this guy sucks up all the religious truths he can find from every source. So no die hard atheists, don't know or don't care is cool though. Rap music is OK, or if you hate it then he will too. Oh yeah, he's offering food and rent and stuff like that. No emails without a face pic. You get to choose the movies. This is a shared room and subsidized living situation and his preference is 19-22. He says he's just trying to help a young person get started and would feel weird supporting some low life older adult. Go figure. Females are encouraged to apply (he's so naive, he doesn't know any better). Remember, under any circumstance, this is a no-sex deal. Serious, although, what you do on the top bunk with yourself isn't going to shake him up too much. WHAT, get the fuck out of here. You're gonna get me busted again!. Give me that fuckin keyboard. Who was that guy, I never saw him before in my lifes. This is me. I disavow any knowledge of any...what the fuck, you mother f... BLAM "
Me and my brother laughed our heads off! Can't imagine what people can write about!
I was looking on this site for sublet (part of a house one is oneself renting from the owner) appartments as it would be much cheaper compared to renting an appartment. So i came across this advertisement posted up . It wrote
"
Actually, I'm that pervert. Hey, I warned you not to read the ad. Anyway, if you're kind of desperate, then this might work. WAIT STOP, give me the fuckin' keyboard, get the fuck out of my way, I'm going to finish this letter. Where were you now, oh, I see. If you're not desperate, then please respect his privacy and stop reading immediately. This dude I know (a really cool handsome devil to be sure) is looking for a person that wants to share a room with an older man. This older man is 41 and thinks he's a kid. He's not crazy, in fact he's quite brilliamt, he just never grew up. He has a decent job and goes off to the salt mines early every morning. Basically, he's too lazy to clean up his small room and his little car so he's looking for a live in houseboy, who can make his life less cluttered. He's definately not looking for sex, as in exchanging body fluids or anything like that. Ewww, yucky. but loves to get touched since he never got enough of it when he was a baby, whaaa. Unfortunately, who wants to touch a big tall hairy blued-eyed jewish grizzly bear? This is where the desperate part comes in. You get your own half of a bunk bed, the run of the really cool house in Watts next to the dash bus and the trains. All you have to do is spend a little time cleaning up and picking the critters out of his back hair and feel the love pouring into your life. This person is a master of performance personality. He can convincingly act any way that complements your act. Say, you're a take charge kind of person, then I'm sure you'll master this guy in nano-seconds, or if you want to be a wall flower; shy kind of person, then he wouldn't mind leading. He'll even let you call him daddy in public (or call you that in private). Don't let the excellent grammer and writing skills mislead you, this person gets along great with 19 year old dropouts as well as rocket scientists. Here's the deal breaker. No smokers. sorry, no dopers, double sorry. No criminals (one is enough), Oh, and you must respect every religion as this guy sucks up all the religious truths he can find from every source. So no die hard atheists, don't know or don't care is cool though. Rap music is OK, or if you hate it then he will too. Oh yeah, he's offering food and rent and stuff like that. No emails without a face pic. You get to choose the movies. This is a shared room and subsidized living situation and his preference is 19-22. He says he's just trying to help a young person get started and would feel weird supporting some low life older adult. Go figure. Females are encouraged to apply (he's so naive, he doesn't know any better). Remember, under any circumstance, this is a no-sex deal. Serious, although, what you do on the top bunk with yourself isn't going to shake him up too much. WHAT, get the fuck out of here. You're gonna get me busted again!. Give me that fuckin keyboard. Who was that guy, I never saw him before in my lifes. This is me. I disavow any knowledge of any...what the fuck, you mother f... BLAM "
Me and my brother laughed our heads off! Can't imagine what people can write about!
Labels: Just For Laughs
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